Post by CertainUncertainty on Nov 20, 2015 3:35:43 GMT -6
The Eye Candy Brigade will be disappearing for two years (each) to complete their military requirement. I found this cute little musing over on Tumblr that should help Sierra and I get through the next decade. Again, I am not taking credit for it.
Military: time to go to the army, boys. We’ll take GD and T.O.P first!
GD: cool let me just call Prada. I’ll need a whole new wardrobe.
Military: no. We’ve got clothes for you to wear.
GD: really? What season and maker. If it’s ‘14 Fendi then I’ve already worn it and I need something else
Military: no. It’s , you know, camo.
GD: Camo? Are they a new designer?
Military: this is going to be a long two years…
T.O.P: camo like camouflage.
Military: oh thank God at least one of them has sense.
T.O.P: thank you
T.O.P: also, do you have WiFi? My instagram is running low on chairs and adorably unflattering pictures of my face.
Military: ….
T.O.P: …
GD: ….
GD: so does that mean I call Prada?
Military: since we apparently don't have a sufficient wifi signal for T.O.P and G Dragon can’t take his closet, we’ll take Seungri, Daesung, and Taeyang.
YB: we still have to wear camo?
Military: yes..?
YB: how about I wear something…else
Military: like what?
YB: like…nothing
Military: how on-
Daesung: *sniffs military*
Military: what the…
Daesung: SMELL
Seungri: I’m sorry about those two…
Military: it’s alright
Seungri: hey, are there mirrors in the military?
Military: I suppose….
Seungri: is it possible to get rid of them all?
Military: what?
YB: so is that a no on the naked?
Military: yes
YB: *strips* still a yes?
Military: PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON
GD: see, if you’d let me call Prada, he’d be dressed.
Military: ATTENTION!
Soldiers: *at attention*
Military: Now, we’ll need to assess your physical condition. Strip, boys!
YB: oh finally! *is already naked*
Military: Not that much!
GD: where’s the camera?
Military: what?
GD: I only strip for art.
Military: no we need to see how fit you are…
GD: fit enough to put Seungri in a headlock
T.O.P: do we have to?
Military: yes. You have to.
T.O.P: or i could…not
Military: please just do this one thing? We’ll give you an entire room of chairs and art to instagram
T.O.P: ….
T.O.P: …..
T.O.P: deal.
Daesung: *shirt is ripped off. Stands proudly*
Military: damn… now there’s a superb specimen
Military: wait, how can you see?
Daesung: I’m guided by style
Military: huh?
Daesung: I gave up my eyesight for style
Military: GD it
GD: huh?
Military: no. Like God Damnit.
GD: yes… I know… and? I can’t smite Daesung.
Military: oh whatever… WAIT
BB: what
Military: HIS HAIR WAS BLUE. BLUE. AND NOW ITS ORANGE
GD: my hair changes every five minutes if it’s not photographed.
Military: that could be sorta useful…
Seungri: no. Not when you have to find him.
YB: just talk about that time he wore a skirt.
GD: IT WAS ONE FUCKIN TIME
Military: OKAY BOYS! Time to train! GD, Daesung, you’re first
Daesung: *stretches*
GD: you want me to….
Military: complete the obstacle course. Its similar to a real life battlefield!
GD: why tf would i want to do something like a real life battlefield?
Military: Channel left you their winter collection
GD: WHERE!? DID THEY BRING MORE TENNIS BALLS
Military: on the other side of the course…
Daesung: *becomes scared for his life. Entrusts his worldly possessions to Seungri*
GD: *runs a quarter mile course in six seconds*
GD: I have bad news and I have even worse news.
GD: Bad news, Daesung was lost. Worse news, they didn’t make me tennis balls.
T.O.P: wait there was actual Channel?
Military: it was the only way…
YB: hey. Quick question. Daesung???
GD: he will be sorely missed.
YB: no-
GD: he readily gave up his eyes to attempt to be as beautiful as me.
YB: -i think-
GD: good man. Nice abs.
YB: No. He’s right there!
Daesung: *emerges from the course*
GD: oh shit
Daesung: why did GD drop me in the shark tank
Daesung: also, why is there a shark tank
Military: reasons
T.O.P: where did your bangs go
Daesung: oh my god a shark must have bit them off
Daesung: is that really what the sun looks like?
Seungri: yes my son
GD: *hair becomes black* i am in mourning.
Military: well that was a failure. Now onto Taeyang, T.O.P, and Seungri. To prevent fatality, let's go one by one.
YB: can I go nude?
Military: no
YB: lol then no
T.O.P: can i insta my trip?
Military: of course not.
T.O.P: then bye
Seungri: can i have a coke?
Military: uhhh… I think we only carry pepsi
Seungri: can GD hold me?
Military: physically no.
Seungri: then no
Military: god.
GD: i got it.
GD: if you don’t run the course, I won’t write another song for eight years.
BB: yeah but that’s normal
GD: I’ll make us perform Fantastic Baby at the MAMA’s. Again.
BB: shit
YB: *runs course fully clothed with a scarf*
T.O.P: *leaves phone on ground*
Seungri: *holds self*
Seungri: I’d love a pepsi
Military: how?
GD: control ‘em with fear
Military: I really don’t want to give you guys firearms
GD: it’ll be fine, I promise
Military: really?
GD: yeah! I once made all of us where jackets with flames on them. We’ve had plenty experience with firearms.
Military: whatthefrickfrack
T.O.P: No. He means like a gun
T.O.P: see, I just instagramed that one over there
Military: that is extremely illegal
Military: might as well…
Military: so, this is a rifle.
Seungri: *holds gun upside down*
Daesung: *stares at gun with his renewed sight*
Daesung: amazing
YB: this gun reminds me of myself
T.O.P: *@choi_seung_hyun_tttop posted 89 new pictures*
GD: *drops gun. Screams*
Military: alright no…
Military: here, try holding it like this.
Military: Now aim for the target. And fire!
Seungri: *has perfect aim*
Seungri: *recoil throws him into a van*
T.O.P: *sets up tripod and camera to record*
YB: *tries to shoot*
YB: *is also too short*
YB: this gun no longer reminds me of myself.
Daesung: *continues to be perfect*
GD: *hums Bang Bang Bang*
GD: PANGYA PANGYA PANGYA
GD: *shoots actually pretty well*
Military: impressive
GD: i have a gun that shoots Gucci at unfashionable people when they enter my home. I knew it would come in handy
Military: that wasn't as bad as i thought it would be
Seungri: *is still in van*
Seungri: hey, guys… I think i tore myself. All of myself…
Military: I was wrong
Military: alright, time to test your teamwork skills
BB: oh no
Military: you can pick your teams. One of 2 and one of three
GD: JACK
YB: ROSE
T.O.P: #r00d
Daesung: Riri?
Seungri: Baesung?
T.O.P: well then
Military: just chill with GD and YB
T.O.P: doom dada
Military: now, in your groups you need to find a way to all get out of these straight jackets using each other
GD: is mine bedazzled?
Military: oh not this again… no, GD, it wasn’t
GD: was it sent from Armani?
Military: no.
GD: dose it have my name on it in pure gold?
Military: then I’m not wearing it.
YB: Jiji?
YB: *puppy eyes*
GD: …
YB: ……
GD: fine. Give it to me.
YB: thank you!!
Military: that was beautiful
BB: *in jackets*
Daesung: I’ve never seen one of these before.
Seungri: Beautiful isn’t, my child
Daesung: yes lord Seungri
GD: i need a latte. Made of diamonds
Military: ready, set, go
TBC...
GD: cool let me just call Prada. I’ll need a whole new wardrobe.
Military: no. We’ve got clothes for you to wear.
GD: really? What season and maker. If it’s ‘14 Fendi then I’ve already worn it and I need something else
Military: no. It’s , you know, camo.
GD: Camo? Are they a new designer?
Military: this is going to be a long two years…
T.O.P: camo like camouflage.
Military: oh thank God at least one of them has sense.
T.O.P: thank you
T.O.P: also, do you have WiFi? My instagram is running low on chairs and adorably unflattering pictures of my face.
Military: ….
T.O.P: …
GD: ….
GD: so does that mean I call Prada?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Military: since we apparently don't have a sufficient wifi signal for T.O.P and G Dragon can’t take his closet, we’ll take Seungri, Daesung, and Taeyang.
YB: we still have to wear camo?
Military: yes..?
YB: how about I wear something…else
Military: like what?
YB: like…nothing
Military: how on-
Daesung: *sniffs military*
Military: what the…
Daesung: SMELL
Seungri: I’m sorry about those two…
Military: it’s alright
Seungri: hey, are there mirrors in the military?
Military: I suppose….
Seungri: is it possible to get rid of them all?
Military: what?
YB: so is that a no on the naked?
Military: yes
YB: *strips* still a yes?
Military: PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON
GD: see, if you’d let me call Prada, he’d be dressed.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Military: ATTENTION!
Soldiers: *at attention*
Military: Now, we’ll need to assess your physical condition. Strip, boys!
YB: oh finally! *is already naked*
Military: Not that much!
GD: where’s the camera?
Military: what?
GD: I only strip for art.
Military: no we need to see how fit you are…
GD: fit enough to put Seungri in a headlock
T.O.P: do we have to?
Military: yes. You have to.
T.O.P: or i could…not
Military: please just do this one thing? We’ll give you an entire room of chairs and art to instagram
T.O.P: ….
T.O.P: …..
T.O.P: deal.
Daesung: *shirt is ripped off. Stands proudly*
Military: damn… now there’s a superb specimen
Military: wait, how can you see?
Daesung: I’m guided by style
Military: huh?
Daesung: I gave up my eyesight for style
Military: GD it
GD: huh?
Military: no. Like God Damnit.
GD: yes… I know… and? I can’t smite Daesung.
Military: oh whatever… WAIT
BB: what
Military: HIS HAIR WAS BLUE. BLUE. AND NOW ITS ORANGE
GD: my hair changes every five minutes if it’s not photographed.
Military: that could be sorta useful…
Seungri: no. Not when you have to find him.
YB: just talk about that time he wore a skirt.
GD: IT WAS ONE FUCKIN TIME
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Military: OKAY BOYS! Time to train! GD, Daesung, you’re first
Daesung: *stretches*
GD: you want me to….
Military: complete the obstacle course. Its similar to a real life battlefield!
GD: why tf would i want to do something like a real life battlefield?
Military: Channel left you their winter collection
GD: WHERE!? DID THEY BRING MORE TENNIS BALLS
Military: on the other side of the course…
Daesung: *becomes scared for his life. Entrusts his worldly possessions to Seungri*
GD: *runs a quarter mile course in six seconds*
GD: I have bad news and I have even worse news.
GD: Bad news, Daesung was lost. Worse news, they didn’t make me tennis balls.
T.O.P: wait there was actual Channel?
Military: it was the only way…
YB: hey. Quick question. Daesung???
GD: he will be sorely missed.
YB: no-
GD: he readily gave up his eyes to attempt to be as beautiful as me.
YB: -i think-
GD: good man. Nice abs.
YB: No. He’s right there!
Daesung: *emerges from the course*
GD: oh shit
Daesung: why did GD drop me in the shark tank
Daesung: also, why is there a shark tank
Military: reasons
T.O.P: where did your bangs go
Daesung: oh my god a shark must have bit them off
Daesung: is that really what the sun looks like?
Seungri: yes my son
GD: *hair becomes black* i am in mourning.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Military: well that was a failure. Now onto Taeyang, T.O.P, and Seungri. To prevent fatality, let's go one by one.
YB: can I go nude?
Military: no
YB: lol then no
T.O.P: can i insta my trip?
Military: of course not.
T.O.P: then bye
Seungri: can i have a coke?
Military: uhhh… I think we only carry pepsi
Seungri: can GD hold me?
Military: physically no.
Seungri: then no
Military: god.
GD: i got it.
GD: if you don’t run the course, I won’t write another song for eight years.
BB: yeah but that’s normal
GD: I’ll make us perform Fantastic Baby at the MAMA’s. Again.
BB: shit
YB: *runs course fully clothed with a scarf*
T.O.P: *leaves phone on ground*
Seungri: *holds self*
Seungri: I’d love a pepsi
Military: how?
GD: control ‘em with fear
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Military: I really don’t want to give you guys firearms
GD: it’ll be fine, I promise
Military: really?
GD: yeah! I once made all of us where jackets with flames on them. We’ve had plenty experience with firearms.
Military: whatthefrickfrack
T.O.P: No. He means like a gun
T.O.P: see, I just instagramed that one over there
Military: that is extremely illegal
Military: might as well…
Military: so, this is a rifle.
Seungri: *holds gun upside down*
Daesung: *stares at gun with his renewed sight*
Daesung: amazing
YB: this gun reminds me of myself
T.O.P: *@choi_seung_hyun_tttop posted 89 new pictures*
GD: *drops gun. Screams*
Military: alright no…
Military: here, try holding it like this.
Military: Now aim for the target. And fire!
Seungri: *has perfect aim*
Seungri: *recoil throws him into a van*
T.O.P: *sets up tripod and camera to record*
YB: *tries to shoot*
YB: *is also too short*
YB: this gun no longer reminds me of myself.
Daesung: *continues to be perfect*
GD: *hums Bang Bang Bang*
GD: PANGYA PANGYA PANGYA
GD: *shoots actually pretty well*
Military: impressive
GD: i have a gun that shoots Gucci at unfashionable people when they enter my home. I knew it would come in handy
Military: that wasn't as bad as i thought it would be
Seungri: *is still in van*
Seungri: hey, guys… I think i tore myself. All of myself…
Military: I was wrong
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Military: alright, time to test your teamwork skills
BB: oh no
Military: you can pick your teams. One of 2 and one of three
GD: JACK
YB: ROSE
T.O.P: #r00d
Daesung: Riri?
Seungri: Baesung?
T.O.P: well then
Military: just chill with GD and YB
T.O.P: doom dada
Military: now, in your groups you need to find a way to all get out of these straight jackets using each other
GD: is mine bedazzled?
Military: oh not this again… no, GD, it wasn’t
GD: was it sent from Armani?
Military: no.
GD: dose it have my name on it in pure gold?
Military: then I’m not wearing it.
YB: Jiji?
YB: *puppy eyes*
GD: …
YB: ……
GD: fine. Give it to me.
YB: thank you!!
Military: that was beautiful
BB: *in jackets*
Daesung: I’ve never seen one of these before.
Seungri: Beautiful isn’t, my child
Daesung: yes lord Seungri
GD: i need a latte. Made of diamonds
Military: ready, set, go
TBC...
